The Virtue is Heartfelt and the Saboteur is Jealousy
Heartfelt actions inspire love and envy.
A person who lives from heart is courageous, inspirational and memorable. These traits can also make a person susceptible to being envied. Where there is light, jealousy is sure to be lurking in the shadows. Remember that all things have opposites and those opposites are always inherent. Peacemakers are found in the midst of conflict, healers are found among the sick. Likewise, where you find true leadership, you will also find those who are suffering from jealousy.
There aren’t any jealous people, however, we all suffer from jealousy. Jealousy may be defined as the inability to experience heartfelt joy for another person’s success. Animals suffer from jealousy too.
Jealousy begins as a tiny morsel of self doubt, or a feeling of being left out. If we don’t observe this small morsel, it will fester within us until we experience it as a feeling of invisibility or being forgotten or even deep feelings of being unworthy. It will then fester and morph into resentment and retaliation.
We usually think of jealousy as related to a romantic situation. It certainly does show itself there. I have seen jealousy grab ahold of fine human beings and turn them into sneaky, willful and obsessed personalities. When jealousy gets to this point, the urge to take from others spins out of control. Over time, jealous thoughts create an impulse to take rather than give.
The pain of jealousy leaves a mark on a person and that mark is theft. All stealing comes from deep unchecked jealousy that first shows itself as a tiny morsel of invisibility. Stealing glances towards someone’s sweetheart, stealing reputations through gossip, stealing opportunities through cheating, stealing credit or even stealing another’s identity are all various types of theft. Purposeful withholding of affection or attention may be stealing a moment from someone. Denying acknowledgement of another’s good work is another symptom of jealousy. Excluding others or even shunning them comes from deep feelings of invisibility that we project onto others. If I’m not seen, then I won’t see you either.
Heartfelt is the golden rule in action, it’s the arrow that slays jealousy. My teacher, Sathya Sai Baba always told us: “If you want to have peace in your heart, then there are two things you must learn to forget. The first thing you must learn to forget is all the good you have done for others. The second thing you must learn to forget, is all the harm others have done to you.”
If you practice this everyday, you’ll never say, “I did such and such for you and this is how you treat me.” Practicing this lesson teaches us that if we give and then we throw it in someone’s face, it was never truly given in the first place. Practicing forgetting the harm that others put on us is also the practicing of acknowledging the harm that we have done to others.
Heartfelt thoughts are the antidote for all forms of jealousy.
When you encourage your ex’s new relationship,
even though your heart hasn’t healed,
when you can support the other applicant who got the job, you already do,
when you can be sincerely grateful for second place,
when you can be happy for the success of those that you compete with,
and – if you can experience these moments of disappointment,
with that much heart,
then you are well on your way to a life that is free from resentment and
bitter anger. Heartfelt responses reveals inner freedom.
Ponder on these feelings.
Peace be with you.
Thank you, Jacqueline, for another fine elucidation on another the Word of the Month. I understand the jealousy in myself much more clearly and with much more acceptance. The practice of heartfelt celebrations of others’ successes in the moment (or shortly thereafter) has brought light into some of those dark places in my heart. Namesta.